I'M still alive, I just write in my other journal more frequently.. I don't like this journal anymore
All my journal entries seem to start with "Sorry I haven't written in here for a while" Or something of the like.. My Laptop is absolutely fin! Kaput, say bye bye to laptop.. Just basically doens't work, Unfortunately.. so i'm looking for a new one.
ANYWAY, I'm really enjoying soccer at the moment.. We play once a week but it gets so competitive (which explains my bruise the size of a melon on my shins" however it's fun.. and we haven't lost a game yet! WOO!
Work is good. I thoroughly enjoy it.. Everyone "seems" nice and if they're not really "nice" then I don't really mind since they're nice to my face. Thats what I like most about it.. You don't bring work home with you.
I've going out, getting trashed, not much has changed~! Still purging when I feel "guilty" but not neccessarily all the time.. I get pains and head spins way to easily now if I do it more than 2 times a day so I try myhardest not to, which can be hard but I need to understand that i'm playing with my life so it shouldn't be ignored.
I'm OK. I mean, i'm not as bad as I once use to be. Yet I still feel the same at the end of the day?? My days flow more easily, i function alot more easily but when I go to sleep that feeling of the lil black hole wont escape me.. But it might, So i remain positive.....
It's not as easy going out anymore however. I get way to self consious and not really "out there" anymore.. I feel like i'm the ugliest fattest thing in there and feel like I should go home, which is most probably why the alcohol has increased.... I don't feel like being seen in public anymore, going to any friend gatherings, (only if they're my real close friends) Because xtreme paranoia sets in and I just think everyone is talking about me and saying harsh things about me.. I don't know why... I get Anxiety attacks at work but they've slowed down.. ANYWAY - i'm fat booho. lalalala
My Mums bf - "do you rememeber when you were that skinny" (in regards to a picture in NW) - actually no you dumb fuck. When was that?! Ihate people who make irellevant remarks.
Hope all is well
ANYWAY, I'm really enjoying soccer at the moment.. We play once a week but it gets so competitive (which explains my bruise the size of a melon on my shins" however it's fun.. and we haven't lost a game yet! WOO!
Work is good. I thoroughly enjoy it.. Everyone "seems" nice and if they're not really "nice" then I don't really mind since they're nice to my face. Thats what I like most about it.. You don't bring work home with you.
I've going out, getting trashed, not much has changed~! Still purging when I feel "guilty" but not neccessarily all the time.. I get pains and head spins way to easily now if I do it more than 2 times a day so I try myhardest not to, which can be hard but I need to understand that i'm playing with my life so it shouldn't be ignored.
I'm OK. I mean, i'm not as bad as I once use to be. Yet I still feel the same at the end of the day?? My days flow more easily, i function alot more easily but when I go to sleep that feeling of the lil black hole wont escape me.. But it might, So i remain positive.....
It's not as easy going out anymore however. I get way to self consious and not really "out there" anymore.. I feel like i'm the ugliest fattest thing in there and feel like I should go home, which is most probably why the alcohol has increased.... I don't feel like being seen in public anymore, going to any friend gatherings, (only if they're my real close friends) Because xtreme paranoia sets in and I just think everyone is talking about me and saying harsh things about me.. I don't know why... I get Anxiety attacks at work but they've slowed down.. ANYWAY - i'm fat booho. lalalala
My Mums bf - "do you rememeber when you were that skinny" (in regards to a picture in NW) - actually no you dumb fuck. When was that?! Ihate people who make irellevant remarks.
Hope all is well
Sometimes I think I act 14 yeard old..
YOU'RE 20 YEARS OLD FOR GODS SAKES..
*runs for the hills*
YOU'RE 20 YEARS OLD FOR GODS SAKES..
*runs for the hills*
OHH YAY so now I have more time to update in detail.. wohoo!
Can I just say (Of course I can) That.. IM BORED~ lol...
When you work full time you really enjoy doing NOTHING.. When yo're at Uni It always feels like you're doing nothing that would constitute as anything constructive.. It's as though you're in Limbo Land.. So much studying, So much writing, So Much thinking.. and then you think "For what" BUT obviosuly, it definitely pays off in the end.. BUT STILL!! :P
Anyway, my eating was good for about, a week.. I could have possibly lost 4 kilos.. BUT when you're having a good run, like always, you just STOP RUNNING.. not slowing down (metaphorically speaking..) however I just STOP.. SO because my addictive personality is never kind to me, I never know where a middle ground lies.. It's all or nothing, and I've always been like that! O bloody well..
Adelaide is soon.. like a WEEK.. so YAY.. It should be good? Maybe yes no? So it's all booked, Oaks on Embassy... anyone in adelaide know it? IS IT GOOD? Hope so because usually when I'm booking hotels, something always weird happens..
I just noticed that I haven't posted any pics while Niko's been back in Aussie Land so here they are!!
This was one of the first Nights when He came back, My friends bIrthday and yes I do Like the JAger :D
Not drunk yet but getting there..
Its The brady bunch!! My sister Niko & I...
At My friends HouseWarming... This is me when I'm in my state of "drunk talk bullshit"
His Boobs are bigger than Mine SAY WHAT!@@!!
CORONAS BAD.. Yes yes I know :( me & Niko....
When The peace pose comes out,l please shoot me
In the car about to go to my friends Bar! ITS COLD!!
Me & My sisterr Being a bunch Of POser losers..
Aww Niko You're so cute, Um nikki, you suck :P
I like to pick up my friends when Intoxicated...niko lokos a bit drunk there :P
AND I HATE THIS BITCH!!! Nikos other girlfriend I KILL YOU!! :P
& That's it really!
Can I just say (Of course I can) That.. IM BORED~ lol...
When you work full time you really enjoy doing NOTHING.. When yo're at Uni It always feels like you're doing nothing that would constitute as anything constructive.. It's as though you're in Limbo Land.. So much studying, So much writing, So Much thinking.. and then you think "For what" BUT obviosuly, it definitely pays off in the end.. BUT STILL!! :P
Anyway, my eating was good for about, a week.. I could have possibly lost 4 kilos.. BUT when you're having a good run, like always, you just STOP RUNNING.. not slowing down (metaphorically speaking..) however I just STOP.. SO because my addictive personality is never kind to me, I never know where a middle ground lies.. It's all or nothing, and I've always been like that! O bloody well..
Adelaide is soon.. like a WEEK.. so YAY.. It should be good? Maybe yes no? So it's all booked, Oaks on Embassy... anyone in adelaide know it? IS IT GOOD? Hope so because usually when I'm booking hotels, something always weird happens..
I just noticed that I haven't posted any pics while Niko's been back in Aussie Land so here they are!!
This was one of the first Nights when He came back, My friends bIrthday and yes I do Like the JAger :D
Not drunk yet but getting there..
Its The brady bunch!! My sister Niko & I...
At My friends HouseWarming... This is me when I'm in my state of "drunk talk bullshit"
His Boobs are bigger than Mine SAY WHAT!@@!!
CORONAS BAD.. Yes yes I know :( me & Niko....
When The peace pose comes out,l please shoot me
In the car about to go to my friends Bar! ITS COLD!!
Me & My sisterr Being a bunch Of POser losers..
Aww Niko You're so cute, Um nikki, you suck :P
I like to pick up my friends when Intoxicated...niko lokos a bit drunk there :P
AND I HATE THIS BITCH!!! Nikos other girlfriend I KILL YOU!! :P
& That's it really!
OMG WOHOOOOOO IM GETTING CABLE SOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNN
NOW I CAN READ EVERYONES JOURNALS COZ MY INTERNET WONT BE THE PACE OF A SNAIL!
excited!
Yes, i'm very behind technology wise
NOW I CAN READ EVERYONES JOURNALS COZ MY INTERNET WONT BE THE PACE OF A SNAIL!
excited!
Yes, i'm very behind technology wise
Nearly NEW YRS EVE!!
Posted on 2006.12.29 at 01:32Current Location: IN MY LOUNGEROOM
Current Mood:
crushed
Current Music: Pink Floyd - We don't need no education
Hey everyone first of all I would liek to say MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL!! Hope you all got what you wanted and santa wasn't a meanie :)
I havent had the net for a while because I didn't pay and didn't realise so i've been on here and there at my cousins and etc etc... I've been really busy working for my mum since it was the chrsitmas season but now I have the week off because the resturaunt is closed for now.
so what has happened? well within a week I applied for a job, went for an interview, got the job, started the next day, did training, started the actual job, screamed and abused my team leader because he was a fucking sleaze and made me want to puke and then quit - Yes within a week all of this happened! lol... so now i'm back to the start of my job hunt. YAY FUN! :D
I changed my dress for new years, Still Alice Mccall but a more vivd print
Shown here.. (i look ew and was just trying it on hence the non attempted poser face)
I hope I have a good birthday.. I really do.
I haven'tlost any weight- But I knew that was expected. I'm upset & hate myself everyday for whichever reasons, but i'm not going to let it ruin my birthday.
I have no money. The dress was $460 & my hotel is going to cost close to $600 & I still need money for alcohol and all that jazz.
I'm offically screwed. OMG I STILL DONT HAVE SHOES FOR IT FUCK!!! hahahaha omg i'm stupid. o well.
I've been taking Valium and it's been putting me to sleep, I actually started getting use to the drowsiness so I don't mind it.
At least i'm sleeping.
p.s i really hate guys and I think they should all go fuck themselves
I havent had the net for a while because I didn't pay and didn't realise so i've been on here and there at my cousins and etc etc... I've been really busy working for my mum since it was the chrsitmas season but now I have the week off because the resturaunt is closed for now.
so what has happened? well within a week I applied for a job, went for an interview, got the job, started the next day, did training, started the actual job, screamed and abused my team leader because he was a fucking sleaze and made me want to puke and then quit - Yes within a week all of this happened! lol... so now i'm back to the start of my job hunt. YAY FUN! :D
I changed my dress for new years, Still Alice Mccall but a more vivd print
Shown here.. (i look ew and was just trying it on hence the non attempted poser face)
I hope I have a good birthday.. I really do.
I haven'tlost any weight- But I knew that was expected. I'm upset & hate myself everyday for whichever reasons, but i'm not going to let it ruin my birthday.
I have no money. The dress was $460 & my hotel is going to cost close to $600 & I still need money for alcohol and all that jazz.
I'm offically screwed. OMG I STILL DONT HAVE SHOES FOR IT FUCK!!! hahahaha omg i'm stupid. o well.
I've been taking Valium and it's been putting me to sleep, I actually started getting use to the drowsiness so I don't mind it.
At least i'm sleeping.
p.s i really hate guys and I think they should all go fuck themselves
I need your help!!
Which dress do you think I should wear LOL.. Even though it's like in a months TIME.. I just have to make sure the dress is available just incase I have to order it.. I'll add more when I find some.. This is going to be public so ANYONE.. opinions please.. I chose all different types of genres from, earth tones to bright colors, I'm not really looking for anything that is flowy because flowy equals =makes you look more fat.. but something more straight lined or tight at the waist and the bubble skirt thingys!!
Anyway Here they are...
( What SHOULD I WEAR )
Which dress do you think I should wear LOL.. Even though it's like in a months TIME.. I just have to make sure the dress is available just incase I have to order it.. I'll add more when I find some.. This is going to be public so ANYONE.. opinions please.. I chose all different types of genres from, earth tones to bright colors, I'm not really looking for anything that is flowy because flowy equals =makes you look more fat.. but something more straight lined or tight at the waist and the bubble skirt thingys!!
Anyway Here they are...
( What SHOULD I WEAR )
I want you to post anything that you want, and post it anonymously. Anything; a secret, a confession, a fear, a love, your opinion about me -- anything. Be sure to post anonymousy and honestly. Then, put this in your LJ to see what your friends (and perhaps others who you don't even realize read your LJ) have to say.
Wooot!
Wooot!